My Family Culture

I was asked to imagine the following:

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.

I have to say that my immediate response before reading on was that I only needed my family. I did not need anything else. If we survived any other materials would be of no value, the lives of my family would be all that would matter. However, in this scenario we are asked to think about the three things we could bring to stay close to our culture.

The first thing that comes to mind with our family is picture. I have had a short career in photography and myself and my daughter love to take pictures. We have a significant amount of them. I feel that these pictures would tell our story, show intimate moments (both happy and sad), and the love that our family has for one another. The love that we have for each other defines us. It sometimes brings tears to my eyes when I see my children interact so closely and lovingly. Do not get me wrong, we are not abnormal there are plenty of days that they are tearing each other apart. But at the end of the day, they love and respect one another and would defend each other to the death. For that I am proud. One of the lessons I am trying to teach my children above most things is that your family is priority. Your family is your foundation and you need to love and respect them for who they are no matter what they decide to be. My older two children have a different father from my younger two children, if you had never met us before you would never be able to guess this. We NEVER use the word step or half. There is no such thing in our family. We are a family unit and that is it. We do not allow anything in our family that would separate us as such. The pictures I bring will show how we dress, eat, the environment we live in, and the places we like to travel. They will show times when we are laughing and happy and also will show the moments that have broken our hearts.

The next part of our culture and a great part of our family is the activities that my children are involved in. I would bring a soccer ball, football, and baseball. My children are involved in these sports and they love every minute of it. We are not the parents that go drop of our kids and come back when it’s over. We are the crazy parents that arrive 45 minutes early practice with our children, wear “spirit wear” that says “That’s our KID!” and we are there late helping clean up or supporting the next group of kids. This to me describes a sense of community. This is another aspect of our lives that I feel is important for our children to carry on as they get older. Be kind to your neighbor and join in. Help the person next to you and have fun! The last note that I would explain about these items is that even though we love the game and we follow the rules, it is not about the win. It is about being together, supporting your teammates, and having fun. Also, teaching our children that losing is ok too. We are not the best at everything all of the time.

It was hard to think of a final item to bring. I know this might sound silly but the item I chose was a Christmas tree. I chose this item because it is not just a symbol of presents under the tree in our home. The tree is significant of the holidays, staying close to friends and family, treating one another and our neighbors with kindness and love, and remembering the times with those that we have lost through the years. I think about my grandmother a lot on a regular basis; however this time of year is when I give more thanks to her for the values that she instilled in me. She is the one who taught me how to stay strong, be a forgiving person, and love unconditionally. We put the tree up usually on Thanksgiving night or the day after and then we do not take it down until the day after New Year’s. It probably shouldn’t be this way, but when we put that tree up the closeness becomes stronger, we are more charitable, and we enjoy more family time together even if it is just watching Snoopy’s Christmas.

As I stated in the beginning I would be happy enough with the clothes on my back and my family by my side. There are some material things that are near and dear to my heart, however when tragedy happens it puts things into perspective. All I need is my family with me and I can figure out the rest. I have been through tragedy (not as catastrophic comparatively) but I have lost many things that were of importance to me, in the end as long as my family unit was together I was ok. So if I was told I had to give up two of the items I would give up the Christmas tree and the sports balls. The pictures would be harder to give up, but my family trumps all.

In this exercise I learned how close my family actually is. We are fighters and we come out in the end of any adversity standing strong. We might struggle to get through it, doubt our decisions, but in the end as long as we are together that is all that matters. I feel proud after this exercise. I feel proud that I have been teaching this important aspect of life to my children. It is important for them to know that it is not material things that define us, it is what lies within our heart.