Reflecting on Communication and Collaboration

In the past two courses I have had more support from my colleagues than in any others courses. In the past 8 weeks the support has been overwhelming. I started my new job just after our classes began and I have been able to utilize the support of my colleagues during this trying time. I am continuing my education so that I can further my career and I will never say that it is easy to complete course work, work full time, and raise a family. This is by far one of the harder times in my life in the way of “keeping up”. That being said I am so grateful that I am moving forward.

I have had a lot of inquiries about my new position so I think that I will take the opportunity here to explain a little bit about my new position. I was hired by my local Head Start as a Practice-Based Coach. Before I explain my perception of the position I urge you to google this position along with this website: https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/tta-system/teaching/development/coaching.html. This is not a new idea to education, however it is becoming a bigger trend, especially in our middle and high school levels. I have two goals in this position. My first goal is to support and guide the teachers to better practices and the last goal is to improve the learning outcomes of the children. I will be observing the classrooms and evaluating what teachers are implementing in the classrooms. I will be looking to see if their practices are successful or if they need guidance to try something new. I hope that I will be embraced as a valuable resource and I look forward to the work that we can accomplish together. It amazes me that at the same time I started this new position I was starting a course in communication and collaboration. What I have learned during this course is valuable to what I am doing every day. I have learned new ways to communicate, how to strengthen my weaknesses, and also how to maintain my strengths.

I hope to continue my journey with those that continue to support me. My wish is that we stay in touch and we can help one another through our educational journey. I believe each one of you holds a strong passion for the children and their education and each will bring something significant to the classroom. My email address is Samantha.testa@waldenu.edu or my work email is stesta@lccaa.net. Even after we have our degrees posted on our office walls we can continue to professionally grow by collaborating with other educational professionals. 

Adjourning

In 2010 I had one of my hardest goodbyes. I had been working at the same county program for individuals with developmental disabilities for almost 15 years and it was now time for me to move on. The current position I was holding I had 6 individuals that I worked with on a daily basis and a number of other staff who relied on me for many things. The ultimate goal for the staff is ensuring that the individuals we serve are living life to their fullest and that they are happy and healthy. I created many close bonds and to this day I do still keep in contact with my colleagues and the individuals and their families.

We had many norms and routines which made life easy for the individuals and when I left I changed a lot of those. This also made my decision harder for me. There were a couple different gatherings for my goodbye parties and many gifts and tears. Ultimately in the end I knew that I was making the right decision for myself and my family to improve our quality of life.

I believe that in this Master’s program I will continue to keep in touch with some of my colleagues and I also believe I will be able to follow others because I just know they are meant for greater things. It will be time for us to part soon and it is necessary for us to become our own individuals in the field of Early Childhood Education. I believe we all have strong qualities and traits that we can bring to the field and it is important that we are looked at as individuals in this process. However, it is also important to note that we worked hard together to continue our studies and improve our practices. The support that I have had from my colleagues and some of the professors has had a profound impact on my life. Adjourning is not just a process of leaving a group it is a fact of life and we learn great things from being a part of the process. 

Improving My Conflict Skills

Conflict is something that I avoid at all cost most of the time. I do not like confrontation and the conflicts that I have experienced are usually fueled with negative feelings, intolerance, or even violence. I am currently not working. My first day of work will be on Monday so I do not have any work related conflicts to share. So I have decided to speak about a conflict that is currently ongoing with my parents.

I have a sister who is ten years younger than I and she has a 4 year old little girl. My sister is what most would consider an unfit mother. She is young and worries mostly about herself or the image of. At least 90% of my niece’s time is spent in a day care or with my parents. However the conflict arose when my parents moved to where my family is currently living and that is too far for them to care for my niece. To make a long story sort, my sister cannot hold a job, has different men moving in every 3-6 months, she is verbally abusive, and she is neglectful. My niece is unhealthy, has no discipline, and it is questionable whether or not she could be diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, or something similar. I could go on and on about the ways her development is being neglected, but the bottom line is she has not stability and needs a healthy environment.

The conflict and issue is that my parents are consistently enabling my sister to be the type of mother that she is. They fear what could happen to my niece so they always feel that the best option is to just do as my sister wishes. My parents have struggled with the worry they hold for my niece and what to do with their own lives. My parents are not healthy and need to worry about taking care of themselves, however they have not lived for themselves for at least the past four years. I have warned my parents that this issue is going to continue to grow if there is not something done. I have tried to explain to them the precious time they are losing with my niece’s development and how it is going to affect her future. I myself fear that one day I will get the phone call that something horrible has happened to my niece. For example, about a year ago I received a call that my sister was rushing my niece to the Emergency room. My sister was living with one of her boyfriends and she had a friend over. The story goes that my sister went into the restroom and the friend did not watch my niece who was three at the time. My niece then had enough time to go into a bedroom and find a bottle of pills and possibly swallow some of them. Yes you might think to yourself that this could have possibly been an accident. However, less than six months later, this same friend was babysitting for my sister and the same thing occurred and they were once again at the ER.

Recently, my parents were upset about living farther away and my sister putting my niece in child care for 15 hour days. My parents then decided maybe it would be a good idea that they would do a shared parenting deal with my sister. They would keep my niece for a week and then my sister would have her for a week. I thought that this had many negative consequences if played out. A few would be that she would be starting school soon and this scenario would not be possible. Also, my niece needs some stability in her life and that is not how she is going to find it. When she has to leave my house she literally, physically, wraps herself around my leg and does not want to leave. Can you imagine if my parents have to do this every other week?

I have learned a few things this week about how to deal with this conflict. I have learned that even though this is a very emotional subject for me, I cannot let that control how I handle the situation. The Third Side has taught me how to redirect and use prevention, resolve, and containment when a conflict has arisen. I know that this conflict is going to remain, it is my choice how to deal with it. I have learned that if I come armed with educated information I get farther with my knowledge. What I mean by this is that even if my parents still do not agree with me after they have read educated material I have a sense of peace knowing I did what I could. The NVC discusses the concept of human connections that empower compassionate giving and receiving. If my parents and I can see that both of us are compassionate about the issue and want to help we can come to a middle ground. We both care deeply about the well-being of my niece and so this is why our emotions can get the best of us. If we both can recognize that we both want what is best for her we can work together to figure out how to help.